Remmeline: A touching love story
by MavisK
Summary: This is the story of Remus Lupin and Emmeline Vance, and the love they share. Please review and critique!
1. Chapter 1

Remus thought he loved Tonks. But he never meant for this to happen. A baby? In just nine months, she was going to have a healthy little child and he would be forced into the regular family life. He wanted adventure, excitement. He went out one day from Grimmauld Place to get some air in the park. He sat on one of the benches, watching the muggles. He sighed. Their lives were so perfect. No problems. No wife that locked herself in the cellar once a month. No child they didn't want.

"Remus Lupin?" someone said. Remus looked up to see a pretty girl with curly red hair and bright brown eyes.

"Emmeline Vance?" he croaked, recognizing her as his old Hogwarts crush.

"Yeah!" she cried, sitting down by him. "How are you?"

"I'm great," he lied, rubbing a new scar on his face. "You?"

"Oh, a little down some days, but I'm doing alright," she said, "But you don't sound like you. What's up with life? Where have you been these past few years?"

"I, um, got married," he said, not smiling. "She's pregnant actually."

"Oh wow!" said Emmeline, grinning, but her eyes looked oddly sad. "That's great Remus, really great. Who's the lucky lady?"

"Nymphadora Tonks," he said, suddenly hating that original name.

"Oh lovely," said Emmeline, smile not faltering. There was a long silence.

"So, er, how is your life?" asked Remus nervously.

"Oh, it's alright," she answered, "I was sick for a while, but I'm back and healthy so I am going to go on a trip to America for a little fun. Then I might come back, see my mum, and then head to Bulgaria for a month or two." Remus felt his heart long for such a life, going places and seeing things.

"Well it was good to see you," said Emmeline suddenly, standing up. "I hope we can have lunch someday, maybe with your wife."

"That'd be lovely," Remus managed to say, standing up. Emmeline grinned and kissed his cheek, before turning and walking down the sidewalk. Remus sighed once more before heading home to pick out baby room colors with Tonks.

That night, Tonks babbled on and on about baby preparations, but Remus was only half listening. His mind was filled with visions of beaches and restaurants, skyscrapers and sidewalks. He wanted to get out and he wanted to get out quickly.

"Remus?" Tonks' voice managed to cut through his thoughts.

"Oh, yes?" he said, turning to her.

"Were you listening to me? I asked you if you'd rather have a boy or girl," she said, tapping her foot.

"Um, boy probably," he said.

"Alright, whatever," said Tonks, carrying on with her baby ideas. Remus tuned her out yet again. When it came time for bed, he let Tonks go up first and then ended up falling asleep on the couch, dreaming of Emmeline in a bikini in America.

A week later, he left Grimmauld Place again, early when no one was awake except Sirius, who was grumbling to himself in the kitchen. Remus thought about stopping by to comfort his friend, but decided not to risk it. Sirius was pretty snappy these days. Remus instead hurried out of the house and down to a little café, sitting down in a booth with a coffee.

"Remus, oh my gosh!" Remus whirled around, reaching for his wand but saw no one but Emmeline Vance, wrapped in a big traveling cloak.

"Emmeline!" he said, a smile breaking out across his face. Her face was shining but her eyes looked red with tears.

"Are you alright?" asked Remus, patting the seat across from him. She sat down, biting her lip.

"Yeah," she said, "My boyfriend broke up with me." Remus felt bad at first, but for some reason, felt a jump in his heart. She was _single? _He mentally slapped himself. _You are married! _

"I'm so sorry," he said, setting a hand on hers (they were surprisingly soft).

"It's okay," she said, cracking a smile. "He was a bit of an arse anyway."

"Want me to beat him up for you?" he asked teasingly. She grinned.

"Oh yes please Prince," she said, touching his cheek. They sat there for a moment, Remus just looking into her amazing eyes.

"I should go," he said suddenly, bubblegum pink hair forcing its way into his mind. "My, um, wife should be getting up soon." Emmeline nodded without a word as Remus left the café. He felt his heart become heavier and heavier with every step back to Grimmauld Place, the only happy thought that Emmeline was single. Which was _wrong. He was married! _But he ignored this and pictured her eyes, twinkling with leftover tears and happiness.


	2. Chapter 2

(If you forget where I left off, Remus had just seen Emmeline and found out that her arse of a boyfriend broke up with her. He found himself happy, but kept fighting this feeling away.)

He finally reached home, throwing his coffee cup away and going into the kitchen. The Order members had already left and Molly and Tonks were the only ones there. Remus guessed that Sirius was in Buckbeak's room again.

"Hey love," said Tonks, kissing his cheek.

"Hey," he mumbled. Molly smiled at him and tossed some more veggies in the luncheon stew.

"Where were you?" asked Tonks, sounding a little hurt.

"Getting coffee," answered Remus, "I couldn't sleep."

"No, I mean, last night," she said, crossing her arms. "You weren't in our bedroom."

"I fell asleep on the couch," said Remus tiredly, rubbing his eyes. "Honest babe." Tonks gave him a wary look before leaving the room, grumbling about "Unfaithfulness." Remus sighed and rubbed his eyes again.

"Molly?"

"Yes dear?"

"What would you do, if you loved someone who you could never be with?" Molly laughed slightly.

"Well, Arthur and I had the same problem," she said, putting a finger to her chin. "See, my parents were fairly wealthy, so when I wanted to marry Arthur, who was, um, not as wealthy, they told me I couldn't. They went to great extents to keep me from him, but I fought hard, ran away several times, until they finally gave up, handed me some cash and told me to 'hit the road.' So I found Arthur and told him I wanted to get married. And we did. I suppose the answer is, there is no such thing as someone you can never be with." She winked and tossed a broccoli piece into the stew. Remus felt her words fill him up, and suddenly, a bubblegum pinked hair girl didn't seem like such a big barrier.

So that night, he made a plan. It was a good plan, but he had doubts. He found Sirius sleeping by Buckbeak after dinner and woke him.

"I'll take your watch tonight," he said, smiling at his friend. "Okay?" Sirius smiled back, a weak smile, but a good one and Remus suddenly hugged him.

"You're a great friend Sirius," he whispered. Leaving a slightly confused Sirius, he left the bedroom and went into Tonk's and his room. Tonks was lying in bed, looking through a baby names book.

"Night," said Remus, "I'm on watch so I will say goodnight here." Tonks nodded and kissed his cheek. He felt oddly bad for leaving the girl behind, but he knew that she would be okay. Then his plan officially was put into action. As soon as Tonks fell asleep, he grabbed his already packed suitcase and shuffled down the stairs. The light of the moon crept in and Remus saw that he only had a week until the full moon. He sighed and crept out the door, taking one last look at the darkened, cob webby house. He knew he may be back someday, but that was not today. Whether Emmeline would take him in or not, he was going to travel. But his brain could not believe that Emmeline would reject him, so he set out down the sidewalk, rain drops just starting to fall. He swore at himself for not bring an umbrella or jacket. He knew her address, because she had left her wallet on the table by accident (lucky the only thing she kept in it was a few business cards and her contact info). He hurried down, looking for Baker Street. He ran over and over in his head of what he was going to say. _"Emmeline, I love you and I want to marry you." _Too forward. _"Emmeline, I left my wife and I need a place to stay." _Well, that was good enough. He took one last glance back before seeing the street sign he needed. He was on a road with many flats, tall and short.

He grinned and found the right number. 331.

"Here we go," he whispered as the rain quickened. He rang the bell labeled, _Vance, _and held his breath. He heard some shuffling around and some glass smashing before the door was opened.

"Emm-" he began, but the person in front of him was not Emmeline. It was an old woman, wearing a nightcap covered in cat hair and holding a book.

"WHO IN THE BLOODY HELL COMES AND KNOCKS AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT?!" she screamed, smacking him on the head with the book. Remus felt his eyes water in pain.

"I'm looking for Emmeline Vance," he muttered, rubbing the growing bump on his noggin.

"Vance?" snapped the woman, "Her and that filthy boyfriend? They moved out, just today. Flats still empty but I will NOT accept any renters at this time of night!"

"Could you tell me where she has moved?" asked Remus, head still throbbing. The rain was coming down harder now, pelting his shirt.

"I don't know, do I?!" the woman snarled, "She said she wanted to get out of the UK, so I'm guessing that she isn't here!" And she slammed the door in his face. Remus felt his heart shatter, piece by piece. His shoulders sagged as he collapsed against the brick wall. _Gone. _She could be anywhere. He felt tears drip down his face, even though his head did not hurt anymore. The rain was drenching him but he didn't care. _Why did I do this?! _His head screamed. _It was stupid! You love Tonks! Emmeline is not important! _He practically fell over from sobbing, wishing that he knew where she was. She could be _anywhere. _The love of his life, just vanished. Like James. And Lily. He wanted to sit there and cry for forever, but he straightened up, wiped away his tears, and ducked into an alley. He couldn't go back to Grimmauld Place and he couldn't waste money on a hotel. So he sat in the alley, cold and wet, but thankfully alone, and tried to think of anywhere she could be…


	3. Chapter 3

Remus awoke right when the sun rose the next morning, finding himself lying on something cushioned. He gasped, realizing he couldn't be in the alley and threw his head up, his eyes flying open. He was lying on a couch in a small room. It smelled kind of like cats mixed with muggle Febreeze. There was a big piano in the corner, taking up most of the room, besides the couch and window seat. He panicked a little, not knowing where he was. He examined the tattered blanket that had been put over him but didn't recognize it. He didn't recognize any of it.

"Sleep alright?" He whirled around to see none other than Emmeline.

"Emmeline!" he cried out, running to her and throwing his arms around her.

"Oh!" she cried, laughing. "The landlady said you were looking for me. Good thing I forgot my cat food at the flat, right?" Remus wanted to kiss her on the spot, but he hung back and grinned. Suddenly, Emmeline's face went dark.

"Sit," she said, gesturing to a small (slightly messy) kitchen with a rickety table and chairs. He nodded, knowing she wanted an explanation. He sat down, the chair creaking beneath his bum and rested his hands on the table. She sat down too, looking at him fiercely.

"Spill." Remus took a deep breath before beginning.

"Tonks and I, we aren't in love. Well, she might still love me, but I don't feel the same. She's pregnant and I know I can't stay now or I will always have the boring fatherly life. I want to travel, like you, get out of here. America, Bulgaria, anywhere. I want to be with you." Emmeline looked shocked. Her face was white and her normally soft eyes were wide.

"R-Remus," she stuttered, "I would love for you to join me." She put her hand on his, and smiled. Remus used all of his self-control to not kiss her.

"So where are we now?" he asked, "How did you get me here?"

"My new flat," said Emmeline, no enthusiasm in her voice. "I'm only in it for a week and then I'm outta here. Oh and I got you here with a simple Hovering Charm. Easy peasy." She blushed a little, looking deep into his eyes.

"What would you like me to do while I'm here?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing," she said, "You're a guest! However, my cat likes to play, so if you would want to entertain her." Remus laughed as an orange kitten waddled into the kitchen. Emmeline grabbed her purse off the back of her chair and stood up.

"I have to get to work," she said, "I've got things to do before I leave too, so I will be home around nine."

"Okay," said Remus, but all he could hear was the word _home _pounding in his head. His home.

"Bye," said Emmeline. Her voice sounded distant. Remus waved slightly, barely hearing the click of the door. What was wrong with him? He had left everybody, on a whim, without a goodbye. He felt faint, realizing that by this time next week, he would be 1000 miles away from them all. He shuddered and stumbled over to the couch to lie down. It was going to take some adjusting.

Remus awoke some time later, when the last rays of sunshine glowed through the windows. His neck hurt from sleeping on the arm of the couch and his face felt sticky from fallen tears. He managed to sit up and check the clock. Seven in the evening. He sighed and got off the couch, smoothing out his shirt and pants and fixing his hair. He knew Emmeline wouldn't be home for a few hours, so he grabbed his wand and his traveling cloak and went out for a walk. He found himself in downtown London, where cabs were everywhere and the sidewalks were way too crowded. He squeezed past people before ducking under an awning by a little grocery shop. He looked at a few posters, waiting for the crowd to thin out, when suddenly he saw an advert for the grocery: _Girls love guys who can cook! Get your fresh ingredients here, at Howdy's Market! _Remus grinned and ran in.

A half hour later, he returned to the flat with much enthusiasm and the ingredients for vegetable soup. He opened his new recipe book and flipped through it, finding a good soup. _Chop one onion. _He looked at the onion curiously. Was that peel…? He shrugged and chopped it up easily, slicing it into little bits. He threw it into the pot along with some water. He lit the stove, praying it wouldn't burn. _Heat till boils, then add red pepper, and salt. _He sat down at the table with a book and waited. About ten minutes later, the water was ready. He got back up, and grabbed the red pepper.

"It didn't say to chop it," he mumbled, shrugging. He ripped it in half with his werewolf strength and tossed it in. He added a sprinkle of salt and stirred it around. _Add onion seasoning and mix. Then take off heat and add cooked. _He had forgotten to cook rice! He quickly threw some water and the rice in another bowl and let that cook while he added some onion seasoning to the soup, which was an odd blood red color. He shrugged again and scooped in the rice. He grinned at the finishing look, as he mixed it all together. Sure it looked bloody, but that wasn't so bad. He added a dash of pepper and set it on the table. He set out two bowls and some spoons, lighting a candle in the middle. He wiped down the counter and tossed away all his garbage. Everything was _perfect. _

"Remus?" the door clicked open just as Remus threw away the last remains of dinner-making.

"Emmeline, hi!" he said, coming out to meet her. She smiled, her red hair curlier than usual and eyes a bit sad.

"You alright?" he asked, "Hard day?"

"It wasn't too bad," she said, "First day at a muggle restaurant. Ick. I got some sunscreen and suitcases for us."

"Oh thanks," said Remus, "Hey, I fixed dinner for us. If you're hungry."

"I'm starved!" said Emmeline, "And thank you!" She stepped into the kitchen, taking a deep breath in.

"Smells fantastic," she said as Remus pulled out a chair for her. She scooped some soup into his bowl as Remus sat himself down. He took a hearty bite. And spat it out. The rice was still hard and the soup tasted like…not soup! He coughed hard before seeing that he had spat all over Emmeline. She gasped slightly and Remus' face went white. Then she started to laugh. She laughed harder and harder, face going redder than the soup. Remus stared at her for a second before falling apart and breaking into laughter with her. They cleaned up the soup together, tossing it out the window into the back garden.

"Shall we go out?" asked Emmeline, taking his hand.

"I think that's a wise choice."


	4. Chapter 4

Remus was feeling light as a feather as he walked with Emmeline down the sidewalk as the sun set on them. They made their way past many restarants and diners, but Emmeline dragged Remus down further, until they reached a small pub, with only a few older men sitting at the bar and few middle-aged men watching muggle sports on the telly.

"They have the most amazing food here," said Emmeline softly, sitting down at the bar. Remus followed suite, grabbing a menu off the counter. It was all delicious looking. Fish and chips, steak, salads. He felt his mouth watering a little and blushed.

"So, not the best day?" asked Remus, trying to make conversation.

"Nah," said Emmeline, "Muggles don't understand how easy everything could be with magic. I use it sometimes, when I'm working alone, so my boss loves how quick I go. It's the other employees who hate me."

"Ah," said Remus. He ordered a beer and Emmeline got one as well. When the bartender turned to get them, Remus turned back to the redhead.

"And what did you do?" asked Emmeline, slipping her hand onto his wrist.

"Slept," he said, blushing hard. "And made one shithole of a dinner." Emmeline laughed.

"It wasn't that bad," she said, "The rice just needed a bit more cooking…and the vegetables needed some more chopping." Remus laughed.

"I'm going to the bathroom," said Emmeline, getting up. "Be back in a minute." Remus nodded as she sauntered off to the restrooms. Remus sighed happily, taking a swig of his drink. Could life have gotten any better? He had the girl he knew he always loved, right in front of him. He couldn't help but grin as he ordered them some fish samplers. He looked around the restaurant. It was a nice place with lots of old posters of actors and actresses of the 1900s. There was a few beer signs with jokes about drinking and a few small families had just walked in to sit down in the family booths.

"Get your hands off me!" he recognize Emmeline's voice and his eyes flew to the bathroom doors. A few men were trying to grab Emmeline's hips and her shoulders, pretending to kiss her.

"Go away!" she snapped, smacking one's hand. Remus sprung to action, sprinting over and grabbing Emmeline's hand.

"Hey buddy," snapped a bigger man with a bad shave and messy hair hidden under a baseball cap. "Give 'er back. Who do ya think you are?"

"Her friend," said Remus, turning away. "And I will thank you not to bother her again." He started to walk away but one of the men (blonde and covered in hair) grabbed the back of shirt and slammed him against the bathroom door.

"Think you're funny?" he asked, beer breath colliding with Remus'.

"Please," said Remus, not feeling as brave anymore. The man chuckled and punched him in the stomach. Remus accidentally let loose a horrible growl like a wolf and struggled against the door.

"Hey you!" cried the bartender, "Leave him alone! I don't like fighting in my pub." The man holding Remus backed off, glaring at the bartender.

"Whatever," he mumbled. He looked over at his cronie. "Let's go." They left the bar, leaving no money for their drinks. Emmeline ran to Remus' side at once, putting her arm around him.

"Are you alright?" she asked. Her voice sounded so worried that Remus nodded despite the pain in his gut. Emmeline gave a sigh of relief and helped him to his feet. They sat back down and made it through dinner, but Remus knew that they might have trouble when they left the bar.

When they finished dessert, Remus was feeling much better and felt brave enough to take Emmeline's hand as they walked down the sidewalk. He glanced back and forth for the two men but saw no one. But he knew that tonight was dangerous anyway, knowing it was the full moon.

"Emmeline," he said, turning her towards him right as they got to the flat door. "You need to go inside, okay? I need to be alone, just for tonight." He wished he hadn't sounded so urgent, because her perfect eyes were as round as dinner plates.

"Remus…" she whispered, touching his cheek. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes," he said, his voice lowering to a whisper as well. "I just need to go." She nodded, almost knowingly. Remus felt his heart quiver and break and suddenly, without any intention or practice, without a plan or reason, he kissed her. If the world had been blowing up around them, they would have ignored it, as their lips danced over each other's and hands intertwined, neither of them ready to break it or lose the perfect moment that was this. Remus closed his eyes, feeling her nose rub softly against his. He did not know how long they stood there, just kissing, but as the sun disappeared behind a hill, Remus broke it off slowly, opening his eyes. Emmeline was like a shining angel as her eyes opened gently, biting her lip flirtaciously.

"Go," she whispered. He did not have to be told twice by her amazing voice, so he slipped his hands out hers and ran through the falling darkness, lips burning. He took one look back and saw Emmeline standing still, watching him through the coming fog. God, there was nothing more beautiful.


	5. Chapter 5

Remus felt like turning back as he ran, but he knew he had to get to a safe place. He ran out of town and down a dirt road.

"Hey you!" A voice he recognized cried out to him. He felt the pain from his gut return and he gulped. The two thugs from the bar were following him, their fists balled up.

"Saved your little girlfriend," said the blonde one, grabbing Remus' arm. "But she ain't here, is she? Maybe you can finally get what you deserve." Remus felt sweat roll down his face and his once-happy heart was pounding with fear.

"Please, guys," he mumbled, "Something bad is gonna happen and you have to get out of here."

"Yeah, something real bad!" snickered the other man. "Punch him Maurice." Maurice (the blonde one) grinned and held back his fist, poised to strike. Remus squeezed his eyes shut, trying to run. Bam. He felt his nose crack under the weight of Maurice's fist. Warm blood streamed down into his open mouth. Maurice and his friend were guffawing loudly as they threw Remus down.

Then the moon came out completely.

Remus only had a fraction of a second to be afraid, because in the next moment, he lost all consciousness.

"_What an idiot!" laughed Maurice, watching the tiny man squirm around on the dirt road. "Now maybe we can tell his girlfriend and break her little heart!"_

"_Yeah!" said Andy, his companion. "Sounds like a plan, eh?" Maurice laughed but suddenly, it was caught in his throat. The man was slowly rising to his feet. But that wasn't the only thing. His whole body seemed to be growing, hair covering every inch of it. Maurice swore under his breath, a hand to his mouth. _

"_Oh…my…god…" The beast turned around and howled loudly, snout pointed at the moon. Maurice screamed for his life and grabbing Andy's wrist, ran for it. They sprinted down the path, not caring about anything but living. The beast had other plans. He growled under his breath before going after the men, howling when he could catch his breath. He gave a sharp bark before jumping onto Maurice's back. Maurice felt a horrible pain in his back as two pairs of claws sunk in deep. He cried out in pain, screaming Andy's name, but Andy could do nothing but stand in shock. The beast growled out again before sinking his teeth into Maurice's neck. It was too much for the human. He fell to the ground, dead. _

_Andy ran for his bloody life. _

When Remus awoke, he could feel nothing but a lot of soreness in his arm and back. He struggled to his feet, finding himself standing in a sunny field, wearing nothing. But he didn't care. He had to know what he had done. He ran towards the dirt road, something vaguely familiar about it. Then he remembered the two men. Had they gotten away? Where were they now? What if they told everyone? He ran faster despite any agony in his back, until he heard it. Sirens.

"Oh my god…" he muttered. He ran again, finally seeing the scene. There, on a spot he recognized well, was a man lying dead, blood everywhere. Several police cars surrounded him as well as an ambulance. Remus felt his body go cold.

"Oh god…" he managed to spit out. He stumbled and fell over in the grass, throwing up all over the ground. He saw blood on the ground and groaned. Blood…why was there so much? He didn't know how long he lay there, but eventually, he found his clothes and headed for home.

When he got back, he found a note from Emmeline on the counter.

_Remus,  
Gone to work. Could you do me a favor and clean the cat's box? Thanks a million!  
xoxo,  
Em_

He shuddered and shook, sitting down at the table. Emmeline. What if he hadn't gotten away from her quick enough? Would she be dead too? He puked again at the thought. He knew he should get up, clean the cat box, act like everything was normal, but he couldn't. He had to leave. He had to leave as soon as he could. He ran over to the cabinet, grabbing a shopping bag from off a shelf. He filled it with a scarf of Emmeline's, some food, and a sharp kitchen knife. He tied it up and tucked it away. He would leave that night.

When Emmeline got home, she seemed very happy.

"How was work?" asked Remus as they ate Chinese take-out for dinner.

"Great!" she said, "I made a friend with an employee and I want you to meet her tomorrow."

"Sounds great," he croaked. _But there won't be a tomorrow Em. _He poked at his rice, sighing softly.

"Remus?"

"Hm?"

"I, um, don't want to pry, or anything, but maybe tonight, you could get a little break from the couch…?" He didn't have to ask. She wanted to sleep with him. He felt his sad heart brighten a little. Last night. No regrets. He nodded, grinning slightly. She grinned back and kissed him across the table. They ate dinner in silence, but it wasn't awkward or tense. Excitement. Pure excitement for what was to come. They cleaned up dinner quickly and then decided to try a muggle movie.

"The old renters left a video player," said Emmeline, slipping a tape into the VCR. "This is called Finding Nemo."

"Nice," said Remus, letting her rest her head on his shoulder. Their hands intertwined and their legs touched. Remus didn't think there would be much movie watching going on, as he kissed her head. Two minutes later, he found himself snogging the most beautiful witch in the world. She kept her hands on his cheeks, warming him up. They managed to stand up and made their way to the bedroom, still snogging feverishly. Remus shut the door behind them, with so much happiness in him he could burst. One last night.

No regrets.

When he woke up, Emmeline head was on his chest, her chin pointed upwards at him. A small smile played on her pink lips, like she was having a perfect dream. He felt his heart throb to stay, to be with her, but he knew he had made his choice. He slid out of bed, dressed himself and covered Emmeline with the blanket.

"I love you Em," he whispered, and he kissed her pale cheek. He grabbed his bag from the hiding spot and made his way downstairs. He took one last look at the flat, realizing what a perfect home it had been to him. Yes, he still had a pit in his stomach of despair for the man's life he stole. Yes, he still wanted to stay with Emmeline. But deep down, it was bittersweet, leaving this place. He never liked settling down anyway. He took the stairs carefully, before opening the door to the perfect night air. Perfect. That's what his time had been here. Just completely and inexplicably perfect.

With that, he stepped out onto the sidewalk, aching for Emmeline's hand in his. And he lost it. Tears fell down his face as he huddled against the door, sobbing. He was _her's. _And he was leaving her…It was too much to bear, so he shut the door and made his way down the sidewalk, bag swinging by his lonely hands.


	6. Chapter 6

Remus found his way out of town and Apparated to his old house. He hadn't lived in it for years, but he was afraid to go back to the Order and it would be living, wouldn't it? It was a small cottage, with a big chimney and a few windows. He had a good dining table, a bed, a small counter and stove, and a couch. All one room, but very comfortable. He was horribly depressed as he put the kettle on and got out a dusty mug, but he forced himself not to go back. He had done it before with an old friend, and he could do it again. He wrapped her scarf around his neck, taking her smell in. Coffee and perfume. God it was beautiful.

He drank his tea slowly and without sugar. Time seemed to not matter as he got his bearings here. Maybe he could just stay here. Grow old. As he made a plan to do so, an owl came fluttering in through an open window. A little brown one with a white stripe down it's back.

Tonk's owl.

Remus felt a sob catch in his throat as he ripped open the letter:

_Remus,  
I am scared to death. Where are you? This is the last place Kingsley is trying before we give up. Please tell me you are safe. Or come back. If I did anything to hurt you, I'm sorry. Just come home.  
Tonks_

Remus knew he didn't love her, but he had to go back. What else could he do? He blew out the stove, put away everything and grabbed his bag again. He had to let them know he was okay before he left them all again. He Apparated to Grimmauld Place as it appeared before him, big and broad. He felt his nerves go haywire as he knocked. The door flew open and Tonks was standing there, her pink hair a mess.

"REMUS!" she screamed. She threw her arms around him, hugging him tight. He hugged her back politely. She helped him inside, trying to help him take off his scarf. He let her take it off, but held it in his hands. He heard laughter from the kitchen, but before he could go in, Tonks grabbed him and dragged him into the living room.

"Where have you been?" she asked, eyes narrowed. Remus just noticed that she looked considerably larger round the middle.

"Busy," he said, trying to go to the kitchen. Tonks blocked him again.

"I know the truth," she said, "You don't love me anymore, do you Remus?"

"ALL THOSE YEARS?!" she cried. They had moved upstairs to talk, but Tonks was pacing around, shouting at him. "YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME REMUS!"

"I did!" he insisted, trying to calm her down. "Tonks, I really do love someone else."

"Who?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

"No one you know," he said truthfully, "Look Tonks, you have to understand. Just hear me out." Tonks opened her mouth to object, but then closed it again and sat down on the window seat, glaring at him.

"I am in love with someone else," he said, "We lived together for a while. A few nights ago, I killed a man." Tonks put a hand to her mouth. "Not like that!" Remus said nervously, "It was the full moon. My girlfriend didn't know about my problem and neither did the muggles chasing me. I killed one of them on accident…" He felt his heart pound angrily at himself, but he ignored it. "I was afraid, of what would happen if I hurt _her. _Even killed her. I couldn't bear it. Then I got your letter at my old house and came here. Tonks, I really am sorry, but this is what I want. I know it is. I have to lay low, stay protected somewhere until the Order needs me in battle."

"Oh Remus," Tonk's eyes had filled with tears and she got up to hug him. "I'm sorry, I understand." They sat together for a moment, just staring at the floor, when the door clicked open suddenly. Tonks got to her feet as Harry, Kingsley, and Sirius walked in.

"Babe, what's going on?" said Harry, looking at Tonks. Remus gaped.

"…babe?" he croaked.

"My boyfriend, Harry," said Tonks, fumbling with the sheets on the bed nervously. "Sorry Remus." Remus could do nothing but stare.

"You have a lot of explaining to do," said Sirius suddenly. Remus nodded woefully.

Remus explained everything and Kingsley gave him special orders to live at Grimmauld Place until he was called for duty. Remus agreed, but said he was going to go out to his old house every full moon. Kingsley said okay.

And so Remus began his new life, without Emmeline. He couldn't bear it.


	7. Chapter 7

Remus spent the night in Buckbeak's room with Sirius, just sitting and talking for the first few hours of the wee morning.

"So who's the girl?" asked Sirius, brushing dirt off the floor.

"Emmeline Vance," said Remus, smiling. Sirius' gaped.

"She's a babe!" he said, punching Remus softly. "Nice job Remus!" Remus' smile faded.

"Yeah, but I can't be with her," he said, "Not now at least." Sirius nodded solemnly, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder. Remus felt great comfort, the best he'd had in days.

The next day, he stayed back with Molly while the Order members took Harry, Ron, and Hermione back to Hogwarts. He helped in the kitchen, bored to death, but knowing that this was what he had to do. Late in the afternoon, he received a letter from a white owl he did not recognize. He took the note into his bedroom and ripped it open.

_Remus,  
I know why you left. I know your problem. Don't hide it from me anymore please. I'm pregnant Remus. You have to come back. I don't care what you are, I love you.  
xoxo,  
Em_

He wanted to scream out loud. He wanted to burn the letter, to destroy it. But he just sat on the bed, tears rolling down his pale cheeks. Then he screamed. He cried out in pain, holding her scarf in his clenched hands, screaming for as long as he had to before he lost all breath and fell over onto the dusty rug, sobbing into its carpet. There is nothing more painful than death or lost love.

He felt like she was both.

The months passed. The death of Sirius came. Remus cried for days. He received more letters from Emmeline, begging him to return at first, and then turning into just casual small talk. She told him that she was doing well, and the baby was kicking a lot. It was like he was a ghost, watching her from afar but not able to be with her. He kept all of the letters in his bottom dresser drawer, wrapped in her scarf. On a cloudy day in April, a month before the Second Wizarding War, Remus wrote to her.

_Emmeline,  
I wish I could say everything in one letter but it might be intercepted. I am sorry I haven't written sooner. I want you to name the baby whatever you want. Please don't come looking for me. You know why I left you. I am so sorry. So very sorry. But thank you for writing to me.  
I love you with everything I have,  
Remus_

He sealed it and gave it to Molly's owl, sending it out the window. He sighed and sat back on his bed. He was used to being away from her now, but it still hurt. He had been living at the Burrow in Ron's old room, since it had already been searched many times by many people and probably wouldn't be again. Molly had been terribly kind to him but he knew he couldn't stay much longer. He kept getting letters from his love, answering only twice a month. He missed her more than he could bear, but he had her and the baby in mind. They had to stay safe.


	8. Chapter 8 (final chapter)

The day of the war came. Remus was put to protect the Astronomy Tower. He stood alone, wand outstretched as he protected the walls of the castle. He was nervous but ready. If Voldemort died, it would all be worth it. He had seen Harry give Tonks a very non-verbal farewell in case he was killed, but Remus avoided any details of this and went up to the Tower. He was waiting, for anything. The breath before the storm was the scariest, when he knew what was coming but could not escape it.

"Remus." Remus could not breathe for a moment. That voice could only come from one being. Except she wasn't a human. She was an angel. He turned around, face white. Emmeline was standing at the top of the stairs, smiling at him. Her whole body glowed in the moonlight. She was wearing muggle clothes and her hair was a mess, but she looked beautiful anyway. Remus stood, in shock, until she put her arms around him softly, chin on his shoulder. He hugged her back, almost afraid that she would vanish if he touched her. They embraced for longer than a normal hug. But Remus was the first to pull away, and opened his mouth to apologize. Emmeline put a finger to his lips.

"I love you," she said, "And I will always forgive you." He could have melted right then and there, but he just whimpered and kissed her. Remus grinned wryly, but then remembered what was going on around him.

"You have to leave Em," he said, gripping her shoulders. "I left you to keep you safe and none of it would be worth anything if you die tonight."

"I'm not going to die Remus," said Emmeline, cupping his face in her hands. "I want to fight by you. Angelo is safe."

"Angelo…" the baby's name sounded odd on his tongue. "But you must be with him."

"He is fine," she insisted, "Remus, if we get through this, maybe we can stay together. Raise a family."

"We will," said Remus, "We will have a big house, with a big family. I promise you that." They embraced again, but a horrible crashing sound brought them back to their senses. The protective spells were being zipped back, at them and someone was coming up the stairs.

"Wand at the ready," said Remus. A few Death Eaters were coming up.

"Stubefy!" screamed Emmeline, knocking out a few. Remus grinned at her. He Stunned a few more, before even more came up. They were outnumbered, but Remus fought back. He blocked many curses for Emmeline but she had no time to thank him. More Death Eaters came up, trying to destroy the Tower. Rock and debris was falling on them now, threatening to crush them.

"We have to get out!" cried Remus, grabbing Emmeline's hand, still shooting curses everywhere. Emmeline nodded, her eyes wide with fear, a cut across her cheek and hand clenched around her wand so tightly that her knuckles were white. Remus hoped he would never see that look again. They fought through the crowd, Remus seeing a few other members of the Order helping them out.

"Remus, LOOK OUT!" Emmeline's voice carried across the din of shooting spells as a large piece of the roofing came off and crumbled onto the ground in front of Remus.

"Emmeline!" he cried out, her hand no longer in his. The Death Eaters were moving away now, seeing their work done. No one knew that Remus was still crawling alive under the rubble.

"Em," he croaked, seeing her shadow crumple and fall to the ground. She had been hit by a huge piece of debris.

"EMMELINE!" he cried, running to her side. "Oh my god Em, are you okay?" Emmeline turned over onto her back, her breathing sounding oddly off key.

"Em," Remus squeezed her hand in his. She opened her eyes a little, coughing up dust.

"Oh Remus," she mumbled, "I don't think I'm going to make it."

"Shut up," said Remus, holding her hand tighter. "You're going to be fine, let me help you up." He reached for her, but she waved him off.

"Baby, it's not gonna work," she said, her breathing still horribly ragged. "I love you Remus."

"No, Emmeline, stop it," he croaked, dirt clogging his throat. He lifted her up in his arms, her back lying on his thighs. He kissed her lips, holding her close.

"You're going to be fine," he whispered, feeling her warm breath against his.

"Remus…" she whispered, her voice scratchy but still the most beautiful sound Remus had ever heard. "I have to tell you something." Remus felt his eyes grow wet, realizing why she was choosing such a moment to tell him something important. But he wouldn't believe it. They were going to get through this.

"What is it?" he managed to ask.

"Remus…" she said, her voice lower than a whisper. "I really like that scarf on you." He let out a choked sob, holding her face to his. Suddenly he felt more weight in his arms and her breath stopped on his cheek.

It could not be true. Remus would not believe it. He did not know that he could scream as loud as he did, but as he cried over the beautiful redhead, he felt his entire body put everything into one agonizing howl. He did not care that a Death Eater found him. He did not care that the Death Eater laughed at him and shot him with a green curse. He did not care that he fell into impending darkness, welcoming Death with the love of his life right by his side.

One night. No regrets.

Gone.


End file.
